Once again, the Marine's have been told to get out, this time by the Mayor of Toledo, Ohio.
Apparently the Mayor wasn't happy about a company of Marines practicing urban warfare in downtown Toledo last weekend, even though the local police had all ready approved the training.
A spokesman for Mayor Finkbeiner (Yes, that's his real name.) said, "the mayor asked them to leave because they frighten people. He did not want them practicing and drilling in a highly visible area."
Imagine! Marines frighten people! See, this is exactly what's wrong with our military! The Mayor hit it right on the head. (Well, actually hitting something on the head is probably too violent an analogy. Let's say instead that the Mayor has patted it right on the tush. In a gentle and non-assertive way without any harassing motivations at all. No Sir! (Or Ma'am.)
It is becoming quite clear, as this case and the problems noted previously in the Kingdom of California (click here) demonstrate, that the United States military is far too militaristic. Frightening people, making loud noises, grunting; and who's bright idea was it to give them guns? You can put an eye out with those things!
And that's not all, no sir!
We've generously given the military huge chunks of the Southwest for their exclusive use. And what have they done with it? Dropped bombs all over it, thats what! And have you seen military housing? For crying out loud, even undocumented migrant workers live better than that. Oh, and take a look at what these military people wear. Can we say 1950's? Hellllooo helmet hair! And then there's all the camo-clothing. Just what does the military have to hide, eh?
Well, I think its time we stop coddling these people. Its time we take a firm stand and tell the military that their presence is no longer desired. It's time to tell them to go and find some other country to defend.
That's why I've decided to start the:
I'm pretty sure I can get a lot of support for this grass-roots movement; I might even be able to get financial assistance from overseas.
Now I'm sure there will be counter-protests, probably within the ranks of the military themselves.
And I think we had better start this off slowly. Trying to round up nearly three million people won't be easy (Maybe we could use undocumented emigrants for the task. Apparently there are a lot more of those.) So I say let's just start with the Marines; they're always yammering on and on about "the Halls of Montezuma" and "the Shores of Tripoli". Let's send them there.
I'm thinking we might want to keep the Navy, but only if they start paying their own way. Those big boats ought to be able to drag a lot of nets.
Some people might be concerned. "But Don! How will we be able to defend ourselves?" See, thats because a lot of you don't think these thing through. Just let me do the thinking, Okay? Look, if we don't have a military, why would anyone attack us? You don't send a football team to a town to play a game if the town doesn't have a team of its own, do you? Stands to reason.
And if by some weird chance we do get attacked, I imagine we can put together response forces made up of all the government officials and their supporters who didn't want the military around in the first place. Can't you just imagine the "Finkbeiner Fighters" or the "Berkeley Berserkers" charging into the fray? And in keeping with the good Mayor's wishes, I'm pretty sure no one will be frightened. Except us.
You won't be frightened over at humor-blogs.com. When you click here HERE, you help keep me showing up on their feed. And I thank you for it.
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