It's time again for the awarding of another Quality Original Humor Award.(QOHA) Once again, some lucky humor blog author; a Master (or Mistress) of his or her craft is breathing a sigh of relief. Because the Award is not going to them.
For those of you who have until now shown good sense in avoiding this blog, let me fill you in on the criteria for receiving the QOHA.
One, the blogger who receives the QOHA must be humanoid. (Or at least be generally bipedal.)
Two, the blogger must be the author of mostly original humorous material, as defined by our panel of expert.
Three, the blog humor must not be based solely or principally on shock blogging. Five hundred word monographs on excrement do not meet the Bob Newhart international humor standards. And Bob Newhart is the official 'It's a funny thing...' humor deity.
Four, and this is very important, the recipient must be someone who is unlikely to actually post the award on their page for any length of time. In other words, they must demonstrate that they have at least a minimum set of standards.
Because the award is so rarely given, the award ceremony itself is still evolving. As an example, the ceremony has recently left the procaryote stage and has developed rudimentary genitalia. So do not turn your back.
It should be noted that we at the QOHA have in the past given the award to some admittedly great humor bloggers. However, we have been remiss (due forgivably to our utter ignorance about blogging) in actually investigating the bloggers themselves.
As an example:
- It wasn't until some weeks after bestowing our first QOHA, that we discovered that the author of DrowseyMonkey was neither drowsey nor even vaguely simian.
- We were also surprised to learn that the 15 Minute Lunch blog was not sponsored by Nutrisystem.
- It was quite a shock to our judge to find out that Deb of Deb on the Rocks was actually some kind of sexy un-dead femme-fatale like the characters that seem so popular on late-night Showtime mini-series.
- And as for the author of Mattress Police, well, we at the QOHA will not be surprised when one day he's described by the police as "a person of interest" concerning a "Death Ray" rampage at a new IT company.
So without further ado, (exactly what is an ado anyway?) it is with great pride that we award the QOHA (after at least an hour of serious blog skimming) to Brent at the The Ominous Comma!
Brent has been writing the The Ominous Comma blog for over a year now and has received the kind of vast readership numbers and accolades that truly make us want to hurl.
Besides being a gifted humor author, Brent is also a student, working man and husband. His wife is a babe, (assuming she is actually real and not just the kind of Photo shop manipulation that Brent does so well on his blog) which begs the obvious question: like Katie Holmes, why are beautiful women so attracted to the mentally unstable?
Brent's hobbies include: Long and at times acrimonious debates with his subconscious, A near UN quality instantaneous Spanish translation ability, and an association with something called Danger Couch.
(We spent quite a bit of investigative time on this Danger Couch thing. Near as we can figure, Danger Couch is a performance art group. Kind of like a modern multimedia version of the Monkeys, only without era-appropriate clothing and prime-time advertising support. Check them out for yourself at www.dangercouch.com. Be prepared to drink heavily.)
Associations:
Brent seems to be closely associated with one Dr. Harold Toboggans. This Dr. Toboggans claims to have some connection with the VanDyne School of Fine Dining and Dentistry, the Greater Siberian Institute of Quasi-Intral Gastrology, and the Slugins Center for the Mentally Not-So-Together. (Source, The Ominous Comma, 2/5/07) His exact relationship to these organizations remains unclear.
It should be noted that Dr. Toboggans and Brent are never seen together in the same place. Naturally, for the conspiracy minded among us, that can only mean one thing: A higher standard for personal relationships than would be reasonably be expected of either of them.
Past history:
A decorated military veteran, Brent is believed to have been an integral part of the highly classified "Don't ask, don't tell" Marine Corp interpretive dance battalion.
Or he was an escaped POW.
Unfortunately his personnel records are apparently held by Toboggans in some kind of Doctor-patient confidentiality arrangement and were unavailable for review.
Conclusion:
So as you can see, we are looking at a mentally unstable, manipulative, multi-lingual, former-marine Michael Nesmeth who receives psychiatric counseling from a dubious Doctor that refuses to be seen with him in public.
Exactly what we look for in a QOHA inductee.
Brent, in addition to being placed on the QOHA transient wall of fame, you are entitled to proudly display the award below. (Although we trust that you have the good taste or at least the blog popularity survival instincts of our previous recipients and will continue the tradition of not placing this hot potato anywhere near any personal electronic media.)
You are also entitled to a half-price all-you-can-eat wild game dinner at the St. Maries Elks Lodge and a copy of the June Taylor Dancers, "Boogie to the Great Marches" DVD
Congratulations Brent!
Oh, and thank you for your service to our Country.
If you like my writing you can award me with a click here at humor-blogs.com. And thank you.
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