Welcome to the DONCO Science Center.
"Where discoveries today are yesterday's tomorrows."
Today we begin a series of articles that look at the role of carbon dioxide in Global Climate Change. I'm your host, Don Lewis, a Real Scientist.
Don Lewis, BS, MS, EIEIO: A Real Scientist
Let's start by defining some important terms. As many of you no doubt know, carbon dioxide is two words, consisting of 13 letters. (And a space.) But perhaps you didn't know the derivation of these two words.
Carbon is a compound word:
car = "automobile" and, bon = French for "good".
Hence we see that carbon means a good automobile. I haven't the faintest idea how they came up with dioxide, so to hell with it.
Carbon dioxide has been associated closely with Global Climate Change (GCC). GCC is a recently observed phenomena, where over time, the Earth's temperature goes up or down. For many millions of years, this did not occur. It is only recently, as a result of the introduction of so many good cars, that scientists have discovered the truth: no one actually knows what dioxide means.
However, by comparing the amount of carbon dioxide trapped in glacial ice with that found in carbonated soft drinks mixed with bad bourbon, climate researchers have determined conclusively that increases in carbon dioxide may, or may not, precede temperature increases!
Glacial Ice (Polar Bear for Scale.)
Over Ice (Polar Bear for Flavor.)
With this kind of ground-breaking research, accompanied as it is by heavy drinking; is it any wonder that whole industries and uncounted (and unaccountable) new regulations have suddenly blossomed to regulate carbon dioxide and therefore control GCC?
Interestingly, there now also appears to be a direct correlation between the creation of new government environmental regulations and temperature increases. Scientists at DONCO are currently working on the:
"Political Hot Air to Temperature Increase Model."
Tomorrow, we will look at how carbon dioxide is formed and what its role is in temperature change and rock concert stage effects.
Further research can be viewed at humor-blogs.com And remember, DONCO depends on the funding you provide by simply clicking here. Thank you.
(Disclaimer: No actual polar bears were harmed during the creation of this post. The animals you see were actually polar bear suits stuffed with penguins. Sadly, they didn't make it.)
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