I've been reading and seeing a lot of political stuff recently. Mostly its been about Senator Barack Obama. And that's mostly because practically every US reporter, news anchor, and commentator is currently hanging from Obama's torso like leaches in a jungle movie. It's like some kind of National Lampoon Mid-East Vacation with him at the moment.
Heaven help us if a news story should break here. We'll end up with someone from marketing on the evening news.
And no matter the denials, it is obvious that the main-stream media does have a wee bit of a bias towards Obama over that other guy (name escapes me at the moment.)
So today, I would like to take the opportunity to bring to the American People an honest, and non-partisan comparison of the two most prominent candidates for the Presidency of the United States:
And
We'll begin with the men themselves.
Barack Obama
Barack Obama is a powerful and larger than life individual. Born in the slums of Hawaii, he rose above this humble birth to become the presumptive presidential candidate of the Democrat Party. Called "Messiah-like" even by his detractors, Senator Obama strenuously denies a Son of God status, although he does seem to hint at being a close relative.
Certainly his omniscient predictions of third and forth terms in the Oval Office would seem to suggest a relationship with the Alpha and Omega, and Obama has repeatedly demonstrated a miraculous ability to lay to rest the demons of his previously strongly held opinions.
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
Masterfully prepared by years as a community organizer in the lower south-southwest side of Chicago as well as nearly a year and a half in the US Senate, Obama is obviously qualified to become the Leader of the most powerful Nation on Earth on the basis of...of...actually, I'm unable to answer that question because its one of those subjects that we are not allowed to discuss.
Hobbies:
George B..Uh John McCain
An old-ish fellow. Spent some time in prison. Married to an alcohol supplier.
Quote: "I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there."
Hobbies:
Obama on the Issues:
"Issues are never simple. One thing I'm proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues."
McCain on the issues:
"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room."
Obama on threats to America:
"When we think of the major threats to our national security, the first to come to mind are nuclear proliferation, rogue states and global terrorism. But another kind of threat lurks beyond our shores, one from nature, not humans - an avian flu pandemic."
McCain on Threats:
"Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole."
So...
What was the point of all this?
Simply a reminder.
And don't forget, a vote for me is a vote for change. And hope. Change and hope. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the votes that we seek. humor-blogs.com
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